K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
