It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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