just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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