make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
