Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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