You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize