Texts From Last Night

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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin

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  (802): i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin http://tfl.nu/0a0z
  Replies (14) Good night (948) Bad night (2157)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  i effin hate jeff goldbloom.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  but i totally would still bang him

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  (708): i effin hate jeff goldbloom. (708): but i totally would still bang him http://tfl.nu/w2kp
  Replies (32) Good night (1589) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I gave up sex for lent.

  (646): View more from New York

  I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.

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  (678): I gave up sex for lent. (646): I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter. http://tfl.nu/87gp
  Replies (18) Good night (1147) Bad night (4421)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?

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  (870): It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you? http://tfl.nu/rq03
  Replies (2) Good night (1053) Bad night (3228)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."

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  (330): I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex." http://tfl.nu/3mha
  Replies (25) Good night (6934) Bad night (1110)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.

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  (419): Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher. http://tfl.nu/jcc0
  Replies (11) Good night (3729) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head

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  (613): All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head http://tfl.nu/1jjy
  Replies (5) Good night (809) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.

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  (218): I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately. http://tfl.nu/wrd1
  Replies (2) Good night (1095) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again

  (424): View more from California

  I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill

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  (323): All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again (424): I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill http://tfl.nu/ys2w
  Replies (1) Good night (656) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless

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  (208): I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless http://tfl.nu/p6fh
  Replies (9) Good night (635) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes

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  (267): Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes http://tfl.nu/att1
  Replies (1) Good night (524) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.

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  (781): Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios. http://tfl.nu/bgm6
  Replies (1) Good night (390) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call

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  (613): Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call http://tfl.nu/gkj8
  Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (179)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far

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  (647): In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far http://tfl.nu/x45g
  Replies (8) Good night (630) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"

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  (774): We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole" http://tfl.nu/4a1v
  Replies (2) Good night (577) Bad night (178)

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