I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
