she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
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They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions