one might say we're banned from that church
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
