Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
