I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
