is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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