I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
