Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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