Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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