can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
