I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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