Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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