Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
you never un-have a 4some
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
