I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
