Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Im part way to drunk.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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