I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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