Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
