It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
