I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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