I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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