You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
