So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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