A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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