just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
