we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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