Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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