Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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