I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
