Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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