So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
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I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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