her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
