Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Fuck appropriateness.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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