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Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
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