So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
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the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
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speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize