In the future we'll all be gay
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.