You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
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You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
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You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.