So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
