You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
