I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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