You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
