I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
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thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
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we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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