Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
