Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
