I am spending my child support on dildos
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
