I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
