Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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