as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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