I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
But we have bathrooms and they dont
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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