i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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