After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
