Quick, to the slutcave!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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