We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
