looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
