he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
