Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Found the puke drawer
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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