He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
