i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
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