How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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