Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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